Back Again!

Wow! It has been awhile. I'm not sure that I can write everything that has gone on without boring you all! Bullet points . . those always work!

* Left DVF!!! Finally am focusing on what I want to do. Now that I have the world at my finger tips and can do anything I want ... I am learning a lot about myself. At DVF - I was attracted to ANY other job, as long as it didn't involve wrap dresses and freight forwarders. I took a strong interest in film (which I still love) but am not sure if it is truly what I want. Now that I am gone I find myself gravitating back towards fashion - but more on the PR rather than Operations side.

*Moved! I now have an official West Village address that I am ecstatic about! I have my own room. I love Noons to death, but I think we both are happy to have a space to call our own. My new roommate is fab and am excited about the summer.

*Visited XO HQ in Memphis. I was chosen to visit our HQ in Memphis, TN for an alumni task force meeting. There were about 8 other Chi O's, flown in from all over the country to brainstorm and figure out how to keep alumni active. Met some great girls and had a great time seeing Memphis!! . . and a baby in a bar! (see pic)

Of course over the past few months I have met many interesting people and grown closer to a few friends. The men in Manhattan never cease to amaze me. How does one go through life without ever having any real relationships with people? It's kind of annoying how fake people can be and how so many people use others. I meet people, network, and try to help myself of course . . . but I always make myself available to others and try to return the favor! That's just the mentality here I guess. Thank god I have real friends, I know who I am, have a supportive family, and don't feel I need to change myself, act a certain way, or take advantage of people to get what I want.

Anyways, the summer looks like it will be an exciting one! Tons of events and beach trips planned! I'll try to stay on top of this thing from now on!!

xx
Love Lili

I can't sleep . . .

Do you ever stop and think, think about life and how you choose to live yours? Are you where you thought you would be? Are you doing what you thought you would doing? Are you surrounded by people you love and want to be around? Where will you be next year? Do you want to be in the same place, the same state of mind, be in the same relationship, the same job, have the same outlook on life? I do this a lot. I think. I think until it drives me mad. Usually I end up crying cause I get so confused – pathetic, I know. I probably just haven’t found my place. What is my place? What am I supposed to be doing and where am I supposed to be going?

I should be happy right? I should be doing things I enjoy. Living life to the fullest. I’m not. I spend my days at a job I don’t like at all. I don’t want to excel, I don’t want to grow there – so why am I wasting my time? OH, that’s right. . .I’m waiting. I’m waiting til something else comes along. But, while I wait, I wonder what I am missing out on? If it’s true, and we only have 4 more years left (http://2012wiki.com/index.php?title=Main_Page), I should be doing more than I am. I should be following my dreams, my passions . . . if I only knew what they were. I have grown, life has gotten complicated, and sometimes I feel I have lost myself. I lost what I believe in, I lost what I love to do, I lost the passion I used to have towards things. Where did it go? Is it back in the gymnasium where I had my last cheerleading competition? Is it in the studio at Lake Erie Ballet? Is it at 229 Burcham in the Chi Omega house at Michigan State?

When times get tough and I get confused and start thinking, as I am now – all I tend to think about are the times when I was truly happy. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy here. I have a lot of great friends and am experiencing a city and a part of life that many never will. However, there is still something missing. All my life I have entertained. Whether it be singing on stage at the local theater, dancing in the Nutcracker, cheering on sports teams and at our own competitions, or wowing the entire Greek System at Bar night (dance) competition with Randi’s amazing choreography. Those were the times where I was the happiest. My true passion shined through. I was motivated, upbeat, enthusiastic, competitive, I gave it my all, 110% all of the time! I didn’t care how hard it was, I was going to do it! I would really love to feel those feelings again! But how? I had to grow up sometime. Now I have a job, have to pay the bills, have to live. What is living if there is no passion? No love for what you are doing? So I start . . . I’m going to find it again. Not sure how, but I will find a way. . . I always do.
I will always remember the first lesson my Dad ever taught me. Well, I’m sure there were more before this one – but this is the one I remember and have followed. In one of his law books, ‘The Bramble Bush,’ there is a poem in the very beginning –

There was a man in our town and he was wondrous wise. He jumped into a Bramble Bush and scratched out both his eyes. And when he saw that he was blind, with all his might and mane, he jumped into another one and scratched them in again.

Now – I didn’t lose an eye and I have no wounds that need to heal – but I have lost something. I plan on jumping back in, back into the things that once gave me such joy and made me the person I am today!

Love, Lili

Normalcy

I am happy to report the bonfire smell has just about cleared! After a mild freak out and a trip to the doctor to have my lungs checked for smoke inhalation and blood taken for carbon monoxide poisoning, all is back to normal!

I thought I had a lot to say - but at the moment, can't think of anything. I was just hoping to bide some time before 6 o'clock rolls around! Tonight I am going to a party at Le Royale. Terry (my friend and owner) is showcasing the venue for event planners and industry professionals. He has a cabaret license that I don't think has really been utilized. But, tonight the dancers for 'Wicked' will be there which should be cool. And of course, some great DJ's and music - since his place specializes in music! Some friends of mine who are in a band "The Red Directors" may be playing there shortly - I'm pushing for it. They are really good! Check 'em out - http://www.myspace.com/reddirectors.

Anyways, I'll have more stories and thoughts fresh in my mind after tonight - I'll write then. Being a little boozed up always produces some sort of funny, scandalous, exciting, story!

Love, Lili

Burning Down the House

For some reason, the heat doesn't circulate to the back two bedrooms of the apartment and an icebox has formed where the rooms used to be. We have been here for almost two years and during that time, the fireplace in the big bedroom has never been lit. Last night, I thought would be a perfect opportunity. It was freezing and I wanted to fall asleep in peace without curled up in a ball, shivering. And, I wanted fall asleep to the crackling of the duraflame. This plan would have worked perfectly if I had been 100% positive they chimney flue was open. Apparently, there was a second flue that needed to be opened or Dick van Dyke was long overdo to come sweep the chimney. All of the smoke backed out into my room and filtered through the entire apartment. I fell asleep, knowing the duraflame would burn out eventually and hoping all the smoke filling up my room would just disappear. Luckily, Erin and Maureen came home and put out the fire! I was still half asleep and didn't really know what was going on. I just went back to sleep in my smoke filled room. Now I smell like a bonfire. Anyone who grew up in a rural area and spent many nights outside in the woods getting drunk around a fire - you know, that smell lingers! Aside from showering multiple times, anyone know to make the smell go away?! It could be worse, it's not like I got sprayed by a skunk. To be perfectly honest, I kind of enjoy it. The smell is nostalgic and reminds me of home. But I don't think my lungs are big fans.

Lessons learned here -

1- Don't light a fire when you have been drinking

2- Don't light a fire by yourself - I should have waited for Erin to come home

3- Be 100% positive the chimney flue is open and it is safe to light a fire

4- When smoke starts filling up the room - open up the window and put it out. Do not be back to sleep! (Idiot!)

At least we are all safe and no permanent damage has been done.

Sorry girls! :(

Love, Lili

Fountain of Youth - Part II

What I wouldn't give to go back to Bar Night Season!! The rigorous practices, Frat/Sorority bonding, getting to hang out w/ Randi everyday!! This is and always will be, one of my fondest memories!

Love, Lili

Not to the Knicks!

Pistons pooped out!

Last night was tragic for the Detroit Pistons, who suffered an embarassing loss to the New York Knicks. I had the displeasure of witnessing this incident. Who loses to the Knicks??? It was just awful. Accompanied by a group fully covered in Pistons attire - are heads hung slightly lower as we exited the Garden on that rainy night. If only the Stones would have brought their "Automotion" who I think could have helped save them. Well, at least they would given a little bit of dignity back to Piston fans - as their dancing would have far surpassed that of the Knick City Dancers - who were not at all what you would expect from a NYC dance team!

There was no technique involved in their routines. The dances were fast . . . but they mainly consisted of excessive pumping, thrusting, and humping. Where are the switch leaps? The Foutes? The Triples? And all the other difficult moves that only a KCD is supposed to be able to do! The Knick City Kids - who is a dance group consisting of kids who look to be between the ages of 8-12 held more talent than the 20 somethings!

VS

Love, Lili

Slept through the Holidays

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday! This is late, I haven't written since mid-December. I know you are all so upset you haven't heard from me in such a long time, there are soooo many people who read this! Anyways, Xmas break was a perfect opportunity for me to write. Our office closed and I was in Erie from the 18th thru the 31st. Unfortunately, I was sick from the 20th until around the 6th of January. Who gets sick for that long??! Seriously! It was no fun. But I would have rather been home, having my mom and dad take care of me, than here in the city by myself.

Now that I'm all better, I'm back at it and you can expect more frequent posts. This morning I'm at my favorite coffee shop in the village. It is organic and they play Sinatra....who could ask for anything more?! I'm working on the treatment for this screenplay that had been in my head for quite some time. It is so difficult. I need to put myself in a place to be able to write. I have to be in the mood. What I am writing is kind of personal and I have to go back in time, put myself in situations that I would rather forget in order to bring back the emotions I felt at that time so I can put it into my writing. Now, you would think . . . why the hell would I want to do that??! Why would I want to make myself depressed and upset??! Well, I just like the story and really want to create it. So, if I have to go back to a negative time in my life for a few hours. . . so be it. When I'm done, I'llj ust put on some upbeat music, go to the gym, and be happy again! :)

Sorry, no pics today. I know those are the best part of any blog! I am going out tonight . . and that doesn't happen much, so I will surely have some pics next time.

Have a faaaaab weekend all!!

xoxo

Love, Lili